Nearly thirty years as an educator has taught me how crucial it is to maintain one’s sanity. I am sure that every Black person understands the legion of stressors that go along with such an identity. As a Black man who teaches Black collegians, a form of “race work”, I must tell you that there are additional stressors that may not be apparent to outsiders. Maintaining one’s sanity can prove to be a most delicate matter.
Anyone who knows me or has even read my writings can tell that I have significant love for my students. The love that I speak of is so impactful that I honestly would not want to teach anywhere other than at a Historically Black College. In the words of John Coltrane, there is a Love Supreme between my students and me. Unbeknownst to many, my engagement with my students comes at an extreme cost.
On the one hand, my connection to the future leaders of Black America is uplifting as it allows me to view their maturation on a soulful level and celebrate their strides toward lofty goals. Yet, that closeness exposes one’s soul to being cut deeply during the not-so-good times such as when students decide to forego what I consider essential readings or even attending class.
If one is not careful, the disappointment that gradually grows from working with young people is enough to make the most optimistic educator question if their life’s work is of any consequence. In time, most educators realize that their arrival at a sunken place is paved by the realization that they seem to care more about the futures of those they teach than those they are seeking to uplift do. The above situation is a difficult place to be. I am sure that I have much company in dealing with the frustrations that grow from many, certainly not all, Black students’ conscious decision to ignore an illuminated path to success in favor of a dark one filled with mindless music that encourages immorality and unrestrained consumerism masquerading as Blackness.
Put simply; my soul has grown weary of it all.
An extended period of introspection has forced me to finally confront the following question that has seemingly hooked into my soul.
“Why have you not written on your site in such a long time?”
I am unashamed to admit that the above frustrations with my students and the larger Black community have led me to a place that Langston Hughes describes as The Weary Blues. The Weary Blues somehow managed to silence my pen. My time of silence has been filled with a desperate fight against Hughes’ Weary Blues. After an extended respite, I am ecstatic to proudly state “Baby I’m back!!!!!!”
I look forward to re-engaging all of you on this site. Thank you all for your support over the years. Additionally, I am looking to expand the site, so, if you have any suggestions on how it could be improved or subjects that you would like for me to address, please drop me a note at the email address below.
Dr. James Thomas Jones III
ManhoodRaceCulture@gmail.com
