Category Archives: Black Girls

African-American Women, Black Girls, Black Popular Culture, Black Women

Why Do So Many Black Women Like Keke Palmer Refuse To Grow Up?: Yet Another Sign of Black Cultural Dysfunction

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I am sure you’re privy to the recent brouhaha between Keke Palmer and her boyfriend, Darius Jackson. If you are one of the fortunate ones that somehow sidestepped the latest episode of “Black folk sure know how to waste some time,” let me bring you up to speed.

During a trip to Las Vegas, Keke Palmer and her girlfriends attended a performance by R&B superstar Usher. Adorned in a see-through ensemble with a bodysuit beneath, Palmer was called to the stage by Usher. Video footage shows Usher serenading Keke as she twirled around so that everyone in the building could view her hind parts while being cheered on by her entourage. When footage of the adult behavior appeared on Twitter, Mr. Jackson, Palmer’s boyfriend, responded with what most consider a controlling message of toxic manhood via Twitter that read, “It’s the outfit tho…you a mom.”

Of course, those folks that rushed to the defense of any Black woman, regardless of her antics, criticized Darius Jackson while reminding him that he was merely a boyfriend, not a husband. In response to the vociferous criticism from those who encourage the continuing devolution of Black women and Black culture, Mr. Jackson offered the following rebuttal.

We live in a generation where a man of the family doesn’t want the wife & mother to his kids to showcase booty cheeks to please others & he gets told how much of a hater he is. This is my family & my representation. I have standards & morals to what I believe. I rest my case.

I found this young man’s response compelling and reasonable for someone attempting to navigate the myriad obstacles that usually derail Black families. Yet, this essay you are holding in your hands was not caused by the much-too-public spat between Keke and Darius. Raena Boston, a social activist for Black women’s rights, was the catalyst for the words you are reading.

According to Boston, Darius Jackson is not a dutiful boyfriend seeking to build a family with Keke Palmer, the mother of his newborn child. Unbeknownst to Darius and every other sensible Black man, he is “setting the terms of a woman’s existence.” In yet another moment of incoherent psycho-feminist babble, Raena Boston trespasses across adulthood, parental obligations, familial structure, and manhood in one swoop; it is pretty impressive when viewed through such a lens. According to Babbling Boston,

There’s this idea that once a woman becomes partnered with a man, it’s almost like that’s the beginning of the death of herself. And then, once you have kids, it’s game over. You’re just in the service of your husband, in the service of your children. You, as a person, cease to exist in a lot of ways.

In many ways, Boston’s statement reveals the illogical belief that neither adulthood nor the birth of children should alter the lives of Black women. Millions of well-adjusted, sensible, grown Black folks disagree with such foolishness. Boston could not be more wrong in her rhetorical flourish; ask any responsible Black parent, regardless of their gender.

Boston is unaware of the age-old wisdom that once children arrive, your time as a free-wheeling person without an ounce of responsibility ceases. The failure to understand such simple matters that have served as guides for civilized people for centuries is stupefying.

Although this is not a gender issue, one does not need to look far to find dutiful fathers who have worked nearly to death to serve their wives and children. The same goes for women who have sacrificed all in the service of their husband and their children. These sacrifices are what adulthood looks like.

I pray that someone informs Keke of this crucial information before it is too late. I’m sure this message will not arrive from the likes of Raena Boston or the legion of grown boys and girls who are so enamored with the utter foolishness they enjoy to the detriment of their spouses, children, and the larger community.

It is time that Black parents, regardless of gender, get serious about life because a perusal of any census data proves that they are the only one’s out here playing in the high-stakes game of life. While others are building wealth and a legacy for their children, far too many “grown” Black folks remain committed to little more than what the Notorious B.I.G. called “party and bullshit.”

Sit your ass down and instill some semblance of self-esteem in your children so that they will not need to seek it from a public that will view them as pitiful people without purpose or a sense of self.

To all the parents stung by my words, it is time to stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself the following mantra until it is drilled into your foolish head. “Your time is up, you old bastard.”

James Thomas Jones III, Ph.D.

©Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2023

 

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African-American Girls, African-American Women, Black Girls, Black Popular Culture, Black Women, Hip-Hop Culture

Black America We Have A Significant Culture Problem: Essence Festival 2023

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I am old enough to remember when Essence covered the diverse nature and multiple issues of Black women living in a white man’s world. Essence went further in their coverage of Black women than merely printing beautiful pictures of them; there was no beauty of the week centerfold within the pages of Essence. I recall the presentation and discussion of substantive issues impacting Black America and Black women. When one desired exposure to the multi-faceted nature of Black women, Essence was mandatory reading.

The recent performances of Megan Thee Stallion and Janelle Monáe at Essence Festival reflect the diversity found among Black women regarding how they choose to present themselves to a world whose amused contempt and pity rise with the risqué nature of the presentation. At the same time, the alluded performances have resurfaced an essential issue among Black America regarding what a Black woman should be and should do. It can be reasonably stated that Black women have never been monolithic in any facet of life. This rich diversity of thought, dress, language, and public behavior has unfortunately forced a conversation that sadly ends in the conclusion that there is now a vocal minority population that can no longer be considered a credit to the Race regardless of the evaluation criterion.

In a long-forgotten comedy special, Chris Rock made the shocking statement that a Civil War is occurring in Black America between Black people and Niggas, and Niggas have got to go. Although I would like to cite the recent performances of Megan Thee Stallion and Janelle Monáe as the catalyst to a significant split regarding public decorum, morality, and sensibility among Black women, the truth of the matter is that those issues have been gradually worsening at an increasingly rapid pace for decades. Somewhere along the way, many, certainly not all, Black women have abandoned Black America’s cultural norms and chosen to violate our ancestors’ age-old advice to not go out and “show your color.”

One needs to look no further than the response that artist India Arie’s reaction to the performances mentioned above that, including a twenty-woman twerk fest from festival attendees at Meg’s invitation or Janelle Monáe’s idiotic decision to bare a pasty-covered nipple to the disappointment of Black men, women, and children attending the Essence Festival. Arie issued the following constructive criticism in the wake of the performances.

Is everything for KIDS? No, is everything for EVERYBODY? So when we as a culture make something like this mainstream, it shows a lack of discretion and discernment.

The response that the above comment received from a vocal minority was telling due to its wicked, horrific, and unceasing nature. Supporters of the public twerk fest and unnecessary display of nudity dismissed India Arie’s criticism as irrelevant and out of touch with the times. Undoubtedly, a significant segment of our population celebrates the devolving culture threatening to bar Black success permanently.

This championing of socially unacceptable brutish behavior among Black women and girls is proving to be a significant threat to Black America’s existence. One needs to look no further than the manosphere to encounter Black men expressing frustrations regarding the absence of marriageable Black women. Many alluded men have reacted to the declining numbers of what they deem suitable Black women by searching foreign lands for a lifetime mate.

The most frightening aspect of this matter is that the decline of marriageable Black men and women is an unprecedented threat to Black existence. However, there appears to be no way of stopping this cultural devolution that ultimately results in Black women celebrating their status as bitches, hoes, and baby mommas and Black men as uneducated, inarticulate thugs, absent a modicum of discipline. Unbeknownst to those who are reveling in copious amounts of ignorance, their Black contemporaries disapprove of their flawed value system and display a penchant for leaving them behind as they build lives worth living.

In time, the developing gap between an educated class of responsible, forward-looking Blacks and a have-not class will be too vast for the latter group who have chosen to twerk their way through life when they should have been working to cross. Fortunately for future generations of Black America, the formula for creating a life worth living remains available if they desire it. If not, they should seek out their tribe and be prepared to “throw that ass in a circle.”

We need Black men and women to do better!!!!!!

Immediately!!!!!!!

James Thomas Jones III, Ph.D.

©Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2023

 

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African-American Girls, African-American Males, African-American Men, Black Girls, Black Males, EDUCATION, RACE

Reflections on the Middle School Students Attack on a 73-year-old Substitute Teacher from Cardi B and Me

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It is difficult to believe that Black America has no idea of the educational crisis that has enveloped our people in the post-Brown v. Board of Education (1954) period. The voluminous interlocking problems are too numerous to list in this short space. However, it is safe to say that a non-representative curriculum and teacher force and the lack of parental involvement are near the top of the list of issues afflicting our schools. There may not be a more actionable item on this list than the wild and often criminal behavior of some Black children and their parents toward educators. After all, every one of us has attended some school and should therefore not be shocked by what can be best termed decades-long piss-poor behavior of some, certainly not the majority, Black students in our learning centers.

Although this is nothing new, there is a growing trend among American teachers to leave the noble profession after only a few years of exposure to the students and the entire educational system. On their way out the door, many teachers cite the deplorable behavior of someone’s child and marginal wages that render them the working-poor as reasons for their exit and vow to never return to any classroom.

It is difficult to argue against the assertion that many within our midst have placed no value on education, educators, or their children’s future. To the surprise of many, I can tell you that this lack of focus on education does not magically disappear in the wake of their high school graduation. Many of these students bring their poor study habits and inability to adhere to stated deadlines in the syllabi they receive on the first day of class into their collegiate lives.

Although it is a frightening thought, I fear that segments of Black America have gone beyond a tipping point where cultural formations that devalue the utility of education are nearly irreversible. I shudder to think that a part of Black students somehow equate the ignoring of educators and a disdaining of learning as the personification of what it means to be Black. They were not born with such a daunting perspective. Many embrace a complete ignorance couched in vulgarity and anti-social behavior best taught by a pack of unthinking hyenas. In the world that they live in, this disruptive minority of Black students has been guided by their environs to believe that decency and politeness are signs of weakness. At the same time, the pursuit of intelligence and proper diction is a sign of a repudiation of Black culture.

So, I was neither surprised nor amused when I witnessed middle school students from DeSoto (TX) ISD throwing a metal chair at a 73-year-old substitute teacher. Left to fend for himself, the discombobulated teacher had little choice than to throw things back at the rabble-rousers.

If I were not eternally committed to elevating Black youth, I would probably agree with others who charge these types of kids are too far gone to be retrieved.

Such a brazen attack on a teacher signals both a failed socialization and the reaffirmation of a culture incapable of sustaining Black America during these turbulent times. The trouble I speak of occurred across several generations. The solution will take longer. Although frightening to consider, the advancement of such lawlessness could result in the severe curtailing of the existence of a particular class of Blacks. In many ways, it appears as if many of my people whose ancestors survived slavery, Jim Crow, the Black Codes, racial segregation, or institutionalized racism have succumbed to a materialistic culture that values things over, people. Ironically, it is the so-called great emancipator Abraham Lincoln whose words best voice my perspective during this tenuous moment.

(Black) America will never fall due to an external aggressor.  

She will fall from within.

If parents, teachers, and other adults in their immediate surroundings cannot reach these kids, who can? Such a question brings us to yet another cultural malady of who does this segment of Black youth values. The influence of rappers, athletes, and social media influencers trumps parents, teachers, and loved ones.

The socialization process within some segments of Black America has gotten so bad that rapper Cardi B has emerged as the leading voice addressing the students who attacked the substitute teacher in Desoto, Texas. After viewing the taped assault of the substitute teacher, Cardi B chimed in with the following tweet.

Disgusting this generation is really lost … I went to school wit a lot of gangstas and no matter what they never put their hands on a teacher …Kids this is not respected, not cool, not funny, not tough, not gangsta ….

— Cardi B (@iamcardib) March 11, 2022

I applaud Cardi B for stepping forward with a denouncing statement. The following does not disrespect Cardi B or any other public figure; however, Black America is in serious trouble if the foremost role model for our children is some figure they know, such as parents, grandparents, or family members.

In actuality, I would like to amend the above statement. Black America remains in serious trouble if the foremost role model for our children is some figure other than family. Although it is a frightening thought, this phenomenon that some strangers will have more influence over a child’s development than those in their immediate environs is nothing new in Black America. As a group historically marginalized from mainstream culture, it was to be expected that we would cheer for Magic Johnson’s Los Angeles Lakers over the Larry Bird led Boston Celtics or be glued to the television when a new show prominent featuring a Black cast (Sanford & Son, The Jefferson, The Cosby Show, A Different World) aired. However, the enjoyment of popular culture, even identifying with notable Blacks who had made it big, is different from allowing such figures to be your primary or only socializing agent that shapes your goals, priorities, and worldview.

Yet, non-elite Blacks have always tended to allow famous people to disproportionately influence how they order their lives and the things that they consider markers of success. This unwise choice led to the 1993 Nike campaign, nearly three decades ago, featuring Charles Barkley that sought to deemphasize the role of professional athletes in the lives of children. The commercial focused on Charles Barkley repeatedly stating that “I am not a role model” to any of the millions of viewers watching an NBA game.

If only Black America had listened closely and taken heed to Barkley’s admission regarding his proper role in their lives.

James Thomas Jones III, Ph.D.

©Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2022

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African-American Males, African-American Men, African-American Women, Black Girls, Black Males, Black Men, Black Women, RELATIONSHIP

Why Black Men Are Desiring Pickmesha Over Modern Women

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For most, it is a foregone conclusion that there is a civil war occurring between Black males and Black females. It would not be a stretch to state that the alluded conflict has taken on a life of its own. At its core, this conflict reminds one of Michel’le’s inventive creation of the word “Nicety”; meaning behavior that sits somewhere between nice and nasty.

I am sure that you agree that such matters should be the purview of grown Black folks. Unfortunately for Black America, the alluded discord has prematurely entered the lives of middle school-aged Black children. If I did not know any better, I could be convinced that a portion of Black youth’s socialization is intended to prepare them to be foot soldiers in a raging conflict that not a single participant understands how, where, or why it began. The only thing certain is that there are few winners in this game of Black love.

If it can be argued that the “N-word” is the nitroglycerine of the English language, it is more reasonable to consider Black love an allergen to so many of my kind. There is no greater evidence of such than the droves of disenchanted Black folks whose pessimism is displayed via their disengagement with any real hope of finding love with a Black spouse.

Things have gotten so bad on the dating scene within Black America that men and women are eager to teach succeeding generations on how to survive this gladiator sport that often requires participants to destroy potential mates and may lead to one’s mental, spiritual, or even physical death. Often it appears that the goal of Black love is not finding love, rather surviving with dignity and sanity intact.

Admittedly, it is impossible for me to comment on this matter from any perspective other than a Black man, so, I will not attempt to balance my perspective by injecting what I think my female counterparts would say; I certainly do not want to be accused of mansplaining.

I have spent several decades seeking to learn something new every day. Trust me when I tell you that lessons often come from the least likely places and at the most bizarre times. Experience has taught me to accept the blessing of increased knowledge/insight and keep it moving.

This understanding of the unexpected nature of life lessons makes my unexpected engagement with a new term a rather mundane occurrence. While listening to a podcast titled, The Crimson Cure, I learned a new term/identity. During a show that reminds one of the content of Kevin Samuels, I learned about Pickmesha. Apparently, this lady is someone that many Black men love and the majority of Black women hate.

As mentioned previously, I was unfamiliar with who or what a Pickmesha was, however, after listening to the show, it became obvious that she was an African-American woman who is feminine, cooperative, and submissive in regards to her dealings with Black men. Apparently, Pickmesha is a throwback female of yesteryear who has been bred and raised by a long line of feminine, cooperative, and submissive ladies to understand that her foremost priority is serving as a “help meet” for her man. The same role that her mother played for her father and her grandmothers played for her maternal and paternal grandfathers. It appears that Pickmesha knows no other way to be.

To the chagrin of non-Pickmeshas, there is no doubt whatsoever that respectable Black men across the socioeconomic spectrum are selecting Pickmeshas for marriage over them. The reasons undergirding Black men pursuing Pickmeshas for holy matrimony are fairly simple, they like peace and seek lives devoid of the unnecessary conflict and foolishness that so many non-Pickmeshas introduce to every relationship they enter.

One of the most interesting elements of the robust conflict that occurred regarding this matter was the lack of a true understanding of what a Black woman ought to be and ought to do. As a Black man who has talked to many Black women regarding the above matters, I am convinced that there is no single definition that encompasses Black womanhood. Ironically, there appears to be a greater consensus regarding manhood than womanhood within Black America. There is a near consensual agreement within our community that Black men are to be “protectors and providers.” The failure to accomplish these feats makes one a marginal man in the eyes of Black America. However, one has to wonder what are the consensual qualities that Black women must possess to be a woman.

One thing is for sure. If stable, sane, and gainfully employed Black men have any say in the definition of what type of Black woman they desire, Pickmesha will be the woman for them.

James Thomas Jones III, Ph.D.

©Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2021