“It Is Time that Black Men Apologize to Black Women!!!!!!”: One Black Man’s Response to a Dear Friends Assertion
Some conversations seem to stick in an inactive portion of the brain. The type of conversations that remain dormant until something unexpected, and usually unrelated, brings it to the forefront of one’s mind. During a recent moment of meditation, a long-forgotten conversation with a trusted female friend resurfaced in a way that made it impossible to ignore.
I will not bore you with the entirety of the conversation in this space; I will give you the most succinct recitation, as I remember it, possible. The entire conversation revolved around the best path to end the on-going civil war between Black men and Black women, reduced to the following statement.
It is time that Black men apologized to Black women.
Honestly, I scoffed at the notion that Black men needed to apologize to Black women about anything without a second thought. There has been far too much said by both combatants in this civil war for one group to issue an apology to an adversary that consistently delivered serious blows from a host of angles as if they were channeling the spirit of Iron Mike Tyson during his early days.
Yet, a combination of time, experience, understanding of history, and deep reflection has forced me to revisit this issue. Of course, the still-reverberating words of Brother Malcolm that
The Black woman is the most disrespected person on the planet
was activated without any prodding. I am sure that I am not the only Black man whose life experience and adoration of Malcolm X have led to this thought being pinned to the forefront of their mind.
Alas, my understanding of what can be best termed a civil war between Black men and Black women that stretches across several generations had appeared at the forefront of my mind. Its arrival was akin to a supreme challenge that struck my understanding of manhood and its means to be a Black man in America.
I was forced to consider the validity of Malcolm X’s statement regarding the horrific disrespect that he asserted that Black women have received from all of those around them. Unfortunately, this list of offenders that have used Black women as a reliable tool to included their hearts desires includes Black men. The historical record proves that Black women are always excluded from any rewards when goals are secured.
Although equally painful and embarrassing to admit, there appears to be a segment of Black men who have learned from Whites that the most assured means of advancing in this requires the engagement and exploitation of Black women. According to this playbook, Black women are to be engaged, exploited for their usefulness, and then discarded and denied at an opportune moment.
If I was not well-versed in the historical record, I could be convinced that all Black men view Black women as little more than a means to some desired end. However, this same historical record and personal experience prove that not all Black men have viewed the women of their race as a “beast of burden.” Yet, this does not cancel the inexcusable fact that there are Black men in our midst whose desperate struggle to survive makes exploitation second-nature. Unfortunately for Black women, they are more likely to encounter exploiters than upstanding Black men if for no other reason than the former never cease their hunt for their next victim.
Rest assured that upstanding Black men are aware of the presence of those whose every interaction with Black women is self-advantageous; yet, we remain silent regarding such matters – a daunting decision that flows from a desire to “mind our own business.” Such passivism remains our standard verse until one of these individuals or someone socialized by them emerges in the life of our daughter, niece, or even mother with a voracious appetite to devour all that they can access. Trust me when I say that efforts to protect Black women from predatory Black men will continue to fail as long as we allow their manufacturing within our community.
I guess that this journey began with a daunting assertion that began with what I considered to be an illogical demand that
It is time that Black men apologized to Black women
forces me to realize that maybe, just maybe, Black men should apologize to Black women for not providing an impenetrable hedge of protection around them against all those that seek to disrespect and prey on them.
In a world where Black men consistently demand the right to be head of household and leaders within their community, the state of unprotected, depressed, unstable, and uncertain Black girls, females, and women must be placed at their feet.
The onus is on Black men to bring a cease to this nation’s grandest tradition of all, disrespecting Black men by all Americans regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation. Please do not take this as a call that I believe Black women need to be saved. The historical record proves this not to be the case; however, I think that we all could benefit from Black men refusing to join others in their never-ending pursuit to denigrate, disrespect, and destroy the souls and bodies of Black women at every turn.
Dr. James Thomas Jones III
© Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2021.
An Awakened Pen: Why We Must Reclaim Dr. King’s Legacy from the Cowardly Fools Among Us
I guess that it was the convergence of many issues that silenced my pen this past MLK day. This was the first time that my pen remained dormant regarding Dr. King on this day of remembrance. Now, I do not want you to jump to any conclusions that I oppose the philosophies or goals of Dr. King.
I do not.
In fact, Dr. King’s steadfast belief in The Gospel is a position that I aspire to reach. I am unashamed to admit that I have not reached that destination.
Ironically, the catalyst behind my decision to allow my pen to remain silent was encouraged by one of the many celebrations of the Civil Rights stalwarts legacy. Truthfully, the alluded to event was not much different from other celebrations I have participated in over the years.
While listening to the panelists give their views regarding Dr. King’s legacy, I became increasingly bothered by the never-ending insistence that Dr. King’s commitment to non-violence was the only path forward and not a strategy he decided to use for many reasons. The familiar portrait being painted depicted Dr. King, and therefore Black folks, as an old reliable mule determined to travel up James Cleveland’s Rough Side of the Mountain. I am sure that you understand how troubling, such depictions are to my Revolutionary Nationalist soul. Along with many others, I view such presentations as a sly strategy perpetrated by opponents who desire and benefit from Black America’s continuing trials-and-tribulations.
In many ways, the argument is a simple yet damning one that calls for Blacks to remain “salt of the Earth people” who in the words of Michelle Obama, “go high when they (their opponents of all colors and political leanings) go low.” Trust me when I say that if awards were given out for being long-suffering and refusing to confront avowed enemies, Black America’s trophy case would overflow. Yet, no such awards are presented in this earthly realm. In fact, punishment and scorn are visited on those who refuse to confront their enemies and fight them at every turn.
In many ways, I consider it treasonous for Black leaders to spew a depiction of Dr. King that misleads our people into believing that the Civil Rights patriarch was not committed to Black liberation in ways that extend further than a pedestrian passive, non-violent civil disobedience. I do not possess the words to describe how I feel about non-Blacks who are permitted to advance flimsy revisionist history that promotes a Gandhian philosophy as the primary catalyst behind Dr. King’s actions instead of Bayard Rustin’s wisdom. Such people are either not well-versed enough in Civil Rights history or are deliberately seeking to convince Blacks that any response to the violence (physical, political, economic, social, etc.) doled out by their opponents means that they have betrayed the legacy of Dr. King.
As always, Black scholars’ voices must stand at the forefront of Black students’ understanding of Dr. King. Unfortunately for Black America, many of these voices are untrustworthy ones seeking to convince future generations of potential Black activists that they can love their way to freedom and gain acceptance from avowed enemies by refusing to fight. I am quite sure that Black leaders throughout the annals of time, a number that includes Dr. King, would agree with Frederick Douglass’ admonishment to all that “Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never has and it never will.”
It is past time that Black America stops listening to those seeking to convince them that their subordination is not attributable to men who have methodically perpetrated multiple forms of violence against their kind for centuries. Blacks must awaken to the undeniable reality that the oppressive power that has worked against them will never subside because they have chosen a path of moral superiority. As Frederick Douglass noted over a century ago, “Power concedes nothing without a demand,” and the voices of multi-colored wolves in sheep’s clothing that seek to keep Blacks naïve, defenseless, and willing victims of oppression in the name of moral superiority must be muted by any means necessary.
Dr. James Thomas Jones III
© Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2021.